St Mary's KirkintillochSt Mary's Kirkintilloch

Marriage

Marriage Arrangements

1. Contact the Minister as soon as possible. This will offer the opportunity to set the date and time of the Service. If you are changing your name, through marriage, The Passport Authorities may require confirmation of the date in order to issue a Passport with your married name. There is also an online form which the minister will ask you to fill in.

2. Marriage Notices must be submitted to the Registrar. This must be done NOT LESS THAN 28 DAYS before the date of the marriage. It is recommended that the Notices be submitted six weeks beforehand. The address of The Registrar is, Kirkintilloch Registration Office, Community Hub, 2-4 West High Street, Kirkintilloch, G66 1AD. Telephone: 0300 123 4510. Marriage Notice - Scotland form

The following documents, as appropriate, must be submitted along with each Marriage Notice: a) Each person’s Birth Certificate; If a person has been previously married the Death Certificate of the previous spouse or a copy of the Decree of Divorce or Annulment.

4. It is to be noted that divorce does not necessarily represent an impediment to marriage in the Church, but, if either party has been divorced, this fact should be made known in good time to the Minister. According to the law of the Church, Ministers are permitted but not obliged to celebrate the marriage of divorced persons. They are required to consider carefully the circumstances which led to divorce.

5. The Marriage Schedule will be issued to the parties, one or both of whom must attend personally at the Registration Office to receive it. The Marriage Schedule cannot be issued more than SEVEN DAYS before the proposed date of the marriage. The marriage cannot takeplace without the Schedule.

6. Immediately after the ceremony, the Marriage Schedule must be signed by both parties to the marriage, by the Minister who conducted (solemnized) the marriage and by two witnesses who must be at least SIXTEEN YEARS OF AGE.

7. Since the Marriage Service conducted in the Church is specifically a Christian Service, it is desirable that the couple should have an understanding of the Christian faith. It is not required that the couple join the Church, but it is recommended that both attend a course on the beliefs of the Christian faith.

8. Before choosing hymns and music for the marriage ceremony you should contact the organist, David Burns. His telephone number is 0141 776 5484.

9. FLOWERS. The Flower Convener is Mrs Janice Reid - telephone 0141 776 4974 - who should be informed ten days before the marriage whether or not the flowers will be left in the Church in order that the necessary arrangements may be made.

Before flowers are placed in the Church you must contact the Church Officer, Mrs Margaret Morrison, telephone 0141 578 5887.

10. WEDDING REHEARSAL . Please contact the Church Secretary, Mrs Lynn Hay (0141 775 1166) 3 weeks before your marriage to arrange for a Wedding Rehearsal. Rehearsals are usually held on Wednesday evenings during Vestry time.

11. The following fees are applicable and will be paid to the Minister at the wedding rehearsal which is normally the week before the wedding.

  • Church Officer
  • Organist — (refer to pages 14 & 15)
  • Church — (Suggested Donation)

Useful Telephone Numbers:

  • Minister: Manse 0141 776 1252
  • Organist: 0141 776 5484 (David Burns)
  • Church Secretary 0141 775 1166 (Lynn Hay)
  • Church Officer: 0141 578 5887 (Margaret Morrison)

Registrar: Kirkintilloch Registration Office, Community Hub, 2-4 West High Street, Kirkintilloch, G66 1AD. Telephone: 0300 123 4510.

The Marriage Service

What about the Marriage Service? What happens there?

What I hope to do in the notes that follow is give you a brief outline of the Marriage Service. I hope that this will help you as you prepare for your “Big Day”.

Suppose your wedding has been arranged for 2.00 p.m.:

The arrival of the Bridegroom and Best Man —

In plenty of time, before 2.00 p.m., the Bridegroom and the Best Man should arrive at the Church. It used to be the tradition that the Best Man would then leave the Groom to go and collect the Bridesmaids. This now is seldom the practice.

The Groom and the Best Man pass the time they have in the vestry until the Bride arrives. It is important at this point that the Groom gives the Minister the Marriage Schedule, since the marriage CANNOT continue without it. It is also useful if the Best Man places the wedding rings on his little finger so as not to fumble too much when he is asked for them during the Service.

Arrival of the Bride —

It is important that the Bride arrives on time. If the wedding is to start too late, the arrangements for the rest of the day can be thrown into chaos. For a 2 p.m. wedding, the Bride should be arriving at five minutes to two. This allows time for the photographer to take any necessary photographs before entering the Church.

Entry of the Bride —

Upon the Bride’s arrival, the Church Officer will make her way through to tell the Minister that the Bride has arrived. The Minister takes the Groom and Best Man to their places at the Chancel steps. Leaving them there, the Minister makes his way to the vestibule to meet the Bride and her escort. It is a good idea at this point for the Bride, if she is wearing a veil, to lift it back. This makes things easier during the service and saves any embarrassment once the service has started.

The Congregation are asked to stand. The chosen entry music begins. The Bride comes down the aisle on the RIGHT arm of her escort, with her attendant(s) following, and so comes naturally to the left arm of her Bridegroom when she reaches the chancel steps. The Best Man is already standing at the Groom’s right hand side, the Bride’s attendant(s) take up their position at her left and Bride’s escort goes directly to his place. This will be in the second row of seats.

Now the Service begins —

The Minister welcomes the Bride and Groom

and welcomes those who have come along to

the Service. The Bride should hand her bouquet to the Bridesmaid; the Minister will

hand out the hymn sheets to the wedding party.

The first hymn will now normally be sung. After this, the Congregation sit, the Minister and the wedding party remain standing. The Minister then reads the preamble to the marriage Service. This is intended to outline what Christian marriage is meant to be.

(For example, help, comfort, security, lifelong companionship, respect etc.) A prayer follows in which God’s help is asked for the marriage about to be made. Now comes the marriage ceremony itself.

Marriage Ceremony —

The Congregation is asked to stand, the Bride

and Groom are asked to step onto the chancel

and take each other by the right hand. It is amazing in the heat of the situation people can often get their left and their right mixed up - so don’t worry. Holding right hands, the couple proceed to take their vows. You will find these at the end of the booklet (pg. 12). Please remember that you do not need to learn them. They are included to give you time to think about them and to make you aware of what is coming.

Once the vows have been made the Minister says-

“As a token of the covenant into which you are entering,

these ring(s) are given and received” (pg. 13).

The Minister then takes the ring or rings from the Best Man. The Groom places the Bride’s ring on the third finger of her left hand, and says after the Minister the “promise with the ring” (this is included at the back of this booklet along with the vows). The Bride then places the ring on the Groom’s finger - remember that it can be all quite nerve wracking and sometimes fingers can become a bit swollen. If the ring will not go on, don’t panic - there is plenty of time, and with a little co-operation it will go on.

After the rings have been given, the Minister then declares the couple married.

Minister says-

By this sign you take each other, to have and to hold

from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer

or poorer, in sickness and in health; to love and to

cherish, for as long as you live”.

(the couple may join both hands)

“Since you have covenanted together in marriage, and have declared your love for each other, before God and these witnesses, I proclaim you to be

husband and wife, in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit”.

Conclusion of Service —

The couple may now kneel as the blessing is

announced. The blessing may be sung or spoken. If it is to be sung, you may find it of value to print the words in your order of service:

“The Lord bless you and keep you:

The Lord make his face to shine upon you,

and be gracious unto you:

The Lord lift up his countenance upon you,

and give you peace”.

The Congregation may now sit and the couple may stand if they have been kneeling.

A passage from the Bible is now read and a few words offered by the Minister.

The Service closes with the singing of the second hymn.

At the conclusion, the Benediction is announced and the wedding party, along with the parents, move to the vestry all to sign the Marriage Schedule. The Best Man and the Bridesmaid(s) follow the Bride and Groom and are in turn followed by the parents of the Bride and the parents of the Groom.

Once the Schedule has been signed and any photographs taken, the wedding party line up to walk through the Church. The ladies should be on the left arm of the gentlemen. The wedding party will walk into the Church, along the front of the chancel, then the Minister will step back and allow the Bride and Groom to lead the party up the aisle and out through the large front door.

Photographs —

I would remind you that one photograph is allowed during the Service; this can be taken from the balcony during the first or final hymn.

The photographer should speak to the Minister before the Service. This is also the case for video recording. The main reason for speaking to the Minister is to avoid any unnecessary distraction during the Service.

If it is a bit wet, the photographer should know that he/she is welcome to come back into the Church for more photographs.

Confetti and Scramble (Scatter) —

Please make an effort to let guests know that confetti is not to be thrown in the Church. It is fine to throw it outside - but not in the Church. It is also worth noting, that many car-hire firms are not very keen on people have a ‘scramble or scatter’ from the car as it drives off. One reason is that the children will often ignore the danger in an attempt to get the money. The other reason is that it can damage the paint work on the cars. It is worth asking about.

At the Reception —

It is important that you do not assume that the Minister will be able to attend. No matter what day of the week, the Minister may not be able to attend the wedding reception. This is not because he does not want to be present, but as a Minister, he has many other responsibilities and commitments that may conflict at times.

More than once people have said to me at the reception that they could not manage along to the Church but they have managed along to the wedding. The important point that has been missed by many is the wedding is what takes place at the Church. The reception is important but you must try to remember it is a celebration for what has already taken place in the Church.

Hotels and reception venues vary but let me give you some idea of what will happen —

The first thing that will probably happen is the taking of the official photographs. After this, the guests will be received by the parents and the bridal group arranged in the following order:

Bride’s Mother and Father

Bridegroom’s Mother and Father

Bride & Groom

Bridesmaid(s)

Best man

Next the wedding

cake is cut. If the Minister is present, he

may offer a traditional

blessing/toast.

When the coffee has been taken, the chairman calls on the Best Man to read any greetings that have arrived for the Bride and Groom. It is a good idea not to read too many. It is also worth checking them first to make sure the Best Man can read the writing. A worthwhile suggestion if there are a great number of cards, is to put them on a table after reading a selection.

Then comes the speeches. Usually the first speech would be offered by the chairman, once more renewing the toast to the newlyweds. The Bridegroom replies. This is generally an opportunity to thank people for their gifts, their presence at the marriage and reception and a thank you to the Bride’s parents. It is also expected that the Groom will start his speech by saying “On behalf of my wife and I” or something to that effect. The Groom would normally toast the Bridesmaid(s). The Best Man replies.

Whilst the speech-making may end here, it is quite common to have a few words from the respective parents, the Groom’s first followed by the Bride’s. Sometimes this is preceded by a toast to the parents.

At this point the Chairman will announce a short break during which the company may retire while the tables are cleared and the room made ready for whatever is to follow.

Order of Service

The Minister will take the Groom and Best Man to their places. Then the Minister will announce: “Will you please be upstanding for the entry of the Bride”.

  • Welcome and Call to Worship
  • Hymn
  • Preamble
  • Marriage Ceremony
  • Marriage Vows
  • Exchange of Rings
  • Declaration of Marriage
  • The Blessing
  • Scripture Reading(s)
  • Address
  • Prayer
  • Hymn
  • Benediction

The Wedding Party retire to sign the Marriage Schedule. After the signing, the party leave, walking through the Church. The Congregation should be upstanding.

Vows Made on Wedding Day

You do not need to learn these. They are simply to let you know what to expect.

GROOM (says)

In the presence of God and before these witnesses,

I, ...................give myself to you ......................

to be your husband,

and take you now to be my wife.

I promise to love you, to be faithful and loyal to you,

for as long as we live.

BRIDE (says)

In the presence of God and before these witnesses,

I, ................... give myself to you ......................

to be your wife,

and take you now to be my husband.

I promise to love you, to be faithful and loyal to you,

for as long as we live.

PROMISE WITH RINGS

These promises will be made when you exchange rings. If there is only one ring, then the person giving the ring will say the appropriate phrase.

GROOM (says)

......................, I give you this ring in God’s name,

as a symbol of all that we have promised,

and all that we will share.

BRIDE (says)

......................, I give you this ring in God’s name,

as a symbol of all that we have promised,

and all that we will share.

TRADITIONAL BLESSING

If you wish the congregation to sing the blessing during the Service, I would suggest that you have it printed in the Order of Service. This saves any embarrassment for those who do not know it, giving everyone the opportunity to sing. If you are having two hymns, it should be printed between them.

The Lord bless you, and keep you:

The Lord make his face to shine upon you,

and be gracious unto you:

The Lord lift up his countenance upon you,

and give you peace.

Music for a Wedding

Your wedding music is an integral part of the wedding service and it is important that you take time to discuss your requirements with the organist.

It is essential to arrange an appointment with the organist to confirm the date and time of your wedding and the choice of music. This should be at least 6 months prior to the wedding to enable the organist to arrange for a deputy should he be unable to play on that date.

Hymns

When choosing the two hymns to be sung at your wedding you should consider if the hymns will be known by your guests. During the ceremony the Ancient Blessing “The Lord bless you and keep you” is usually sung and the Threefold Amen is sung after the Benediction.

The following hymns can be found either in CH4 (they appear in alphabetical order in index) or by googling the titles:

  • All people that on earth do dwell Old 100th
  • Praise to the Lord, the Almighty Lobe den Herren
  • O God of Bethel Salzburg
  • All things bright and beautiful Royal Oak
  • Praise my soul the King of Heaven Praise my soul
  • For the beauty of the earth Lucerna Laudonaie
  • The King of Love my Shepherd is Dominus regit me
  • Love divine all love’s excelling Hyfrydol
  • Just as I am thine own to be Saffron Walden
  • Fill Thou our life, O Lord our God Richmond
  • O Father all creating Aurelia
  • O God of Love to thee we bow Saffron Walden
  • Bind us together
  • Make me a channel of your peace
  • Morning has broken

The Blessing

The Lord bless you and keep you
The Lord make his face to shine upon you
And be gracious unto you
The Lord lift up his countenance upon you
And give you peace.

** See copyright paragraph

Bridal and Wedding Marches

The following list of music is my standard repertoire for weddings: however I am willing to discuss alternative suggestions well in advance of the ceremony.

Items marked with an asterisk(***) are suitable for either march.

  • Bridal March
  • Air ‘The Water Music’ Handel
  • Bridal March ‘Lohengrin’ Wagner
  • Bridal March ‘The Sound of Music’ Rodgers
  • Canon in D Pachelbel Grand March ‘Aida’ Verdi
  • March ‘Scipio’ Handel
  • Marche en Rondeau *** Charpentier
  • Trumpet Tune in D Purcell
  • Trumpet Voluntary *** Clarke
  • Trumpet Voluntary *** Stanley
  • Sortie Lefebure-Wely Triumphal March Grieg
  • Tuba Tune Lang
  • Wedding March Mendelssohn

Soloists

If you intend having a solo singer or instrumentalist perform while you sign the Register and I am required to accompany them I require a minimum of 6 weeks notice in order to arrange for a rehearsal prior to the wedding. You will also be responsible for supplying the music to the organist as early as possible.

All fees should be given to the Minister at the rehearsal prior to the wedding

Please note the Minister provides a booklet detailing the order and content of the wedding service.

Copyright

The church is registered with the Christian Copyright Licensing International – Registration no CCL262191.

You may be required to insert this reference on your order of service depending on the hymns that are selected.

The church is not covered for the playing of commercial recording through the sound system. If you require a commercial recording played at some point during the ceremony it is your responsibility to ensure it complies with current Performing Rights and Copyright Legislation.

Disclaimer

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Page was last modified on 23 March 2011 19:27